SubReality Brew
by Martha and cats
Summary: Once upon a time in SubReality... MuseFic from the 'Truth With a Capital T' universe. Harry Potter Highlander Buffy Xfiles


**SubReality Brew**  
by Martha (and cat)

The teapot was already half-empty and I was a little amazed I was still alive.

When I had sent out the invitations, I'd expected to be turned down flat. But here they were, all at the same table. Joe Dawson, Dana Scully, Minerva McGonagall, and Rupert Giles. Not only were the gathered fictives amazingly non-violent, they were actually... chatting.

I glanced suspiciously at the teapot, expecting at any movement that it would spout eyes and start singing sappy Disney tunes, but it stubbornly remained a teapot. Which was odd enough, in the middle of a bar in SubReality.

There had been a rather lengthy debate over the meetings location. Highlander fictives tended to congregate at the _Sword & Trenchcoat_, while the Buffy fictives could be found here in _The Bronze Menagerie_ (or _The Stake House_ depending on their mood). From what little of the map I could read, Scully and Minerva had no pre-arranged hang-out, and the Menagerie was the only place that accepted Writers (on alternate Saturdays) and out-of-place Fictives. Although they didn't look out of place, other than not having forty copies of themselves strewn about the room. There were at least two Spikes for every Buffy (or Angel, depending on where you looked), which was a slightly disturbing trend.

On the one hand, I really wasn't suggestion anything that unusual. The Buffyverse had been crossed with everything else at the table, it would only take a little more melding to bring all four of them into the same 'verse. Now I just had to get their attention--

_:Excuse me: _The tortoiseshell housecat who had been lurking under the table, hopped gracefully onto the wooden expanse interrupting the rather intense discussion on the scientific basis of magic. _:As you know, we didn't ask you here for tea, or to argue theories of quantum mechanics.: _The cat sniffed, as if the very mention of higher mathematics had somehow mussed her fur.

_:You will be the most important fictives in this.. arrangement. Since your participation with either make or break this 'verse, we need your answer.:_ She sat in the middle of the table and daintily groomed a forepaw, as if their answers mattered little to her. Which they probably didn't, all things considered, this was -my- story after all, not hers. Darned scene stealing--

"I'm in," Giles put his cup and saucer down on the table with an enthusiastic clink. "I haven't had a chance to talk to the other Watchers in ages. Did you know they have they have records going back, well, forever nearly. And the library at Hogwarts, really, you should see what they have in there." His eyes had that slightly glazed look of a bibliophile in ancient Alexandria.

"It would be... interesting." Minerva seemed less than pleased at the idea of a muggle, even a relatively well-read one, tromping through her school. "However, the safety of the students is an utmost priority. I will -not- have you scattering them willy-nilly." The cat didn't seem impressed, but I was quickly revising my dramatic-death-scene notes.

"Speaking of willy-nilly, just how old are these kids?" Joe was probably the least interested of the bunch. "No matter which Duncan you snag, I doubt he'll be interested in hanging out with pre-teens. No offense." He nodded to Giles.

"None taken, I assure you, but my group is much closer to twenty-somethings than teenagers. All depending on where you start from, of course." Giles stirred his tea absently. "She was only sixteen when we started, but if you want Spike in his less lethal form, that's Season four and college as I remember."

"That is well past the edge of cannon for me," Professor McGonagall sniffed. "The best I can do is sixteen in book six, and that's pushing it." She sipped her tea thoughtfully. "But if you start in at the beginning of book six, you'll lose Sirus."

I was scribbling notes frantically, trying to keep up. Keeping track of who was alive when and what had (and hadn't happened) was going to be more complicated that I had thought. I wasn't sure if I needed Sirus, but what if I did? And then what about Richie? Notes, lots of notes.

"You know," Dana took advantage of the pause in conversation to snag another cup of tea, "but no one said we have to stay canon. Personally I'd like to avoid large chunks of my own timeline. Cancer, babies, abduction, getting fired repeatedly." She shuddered and added an extra dollop of honey to her tea. "There is something to be said about idealized characters, now and then."

_:You'll be lucky if any of you keep to anything remotely resembling canon: _the cat stretched and gave the group a condescending look. _:She's just a comedy writer you know.: _

"Am not!"

_:Are too.: _

"I wrote plenty of serious stuff! Like, um--"

_:You're arguing with a telepathic cat in the middle of a fictional universe whilst attempting to get imaginary characters to agree to 'play nice' in a multi-universe crossover fic.:_ The cat blinked lazily. _:And this -isn't- comedy:_

"Oh shush you, behave or I'll have Sirus chase you up a tree."

_:Oh really.: _The cat smirked and hopped down off the table. _:You know very well you can't write good fic without a cat curled up in your lap, napping. Now come on, we've got outlines to plot.: _

With that the meeting broke up. Dana and Joe headed off to the SubReality Cafe for a chat while Minerva and Giles resumed their conversation on the nature of magic and quarks. The Writer followed her cat out into the evening gloom, muttering about super-powered felines and how typing with a snoozing cat in your lap was probably the least inspiring thing she'd come across.

Normality returned to the continuum. Sort of.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER trademark and copyright Twentieth Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and/or the UPN Television Network. HIGHLANDER is a worldwide copyright and trademark of Davis-Panzer Productions, Inc. and Gétéve. THE X-FILES trademark and copyright Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation and Ten Thirteen Productions. HARRY POTTER trademark and copyright J. K. Rowling and Time-Warner. All rights reserved. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied. This is a work of Fan Fiction and does not intended to infringe or devalue the copyrights of owners, however the story itself is Copyright the author, and may NOT be reposted, rearchived, or reprinted in any fashion without the express permission of the author.


End file.
